The Joys of My Sleep: A Journey of Authenticity
From the Desk of Gordon Somewhere on the giant dust ball September 3, 2025
Life is a winding road, full of moments that break you, shape you, and remind you who you are. Today, I’m reflecting on the joys of my sleep, the quiet moments where my mind weaves together the threads of gratitude, pride, and raw emotion. This isn’t just a blog post—it’s a snapshot of my soul, a testament to staying true to myself, no matter the cost.
Grateful for the Little Things
I’m grateful for the simple pleasures that ground me. Podcasts fill my mornings with ideas and stories, sparking inspiration as I sip my Tim Hortons coffee—my Timmies, the taste of comfort in a cup. Most of all, I’m thankful for the connections I’ve made with people along the way. These conversations, whether fleeting or deep, remind me I’m not alone in this wild journey.
Proud of the Growth
I’m still learning, still growing, and that’s something I’m damn proud of. At 39, I’ve faced enough storms to know that growth isn’t a straight line—it’s messy, it’s painful, but it’s worth it. Every lesson carved into my bones is a badge of honor, proof that I’m still in the game, still evolving.
Emotions That Fuel Me
Love. Feelings. Creativity. These are the currents running through me today. Love for the people in my life, the fleeting moments of connection, and the fire of creation that keeps me moving forward. I’m embracing the full spectrum of emotions—not just the highs, but the lows that remind me I’m human.
Intention: Create Fearlessly
My intention is clear: be creative. Whether it’s through words, ideas, or the way I live my life, I want to craft something real, something that screams me. Creativity is my rebellion against a world that tries to box us in. It’s my way of saying, “I’m still here, and I’m still fighting.”
Connections That Matter
Today, I’m thinking of Larissa, myself, and the future. Connecting with others is vital, but so is connecting with the man in the mirror. I’m also casting my gaze forward, dreaming of what’s next—new places, new faces, new possibilities.
Lessons from Sleep
I’ve learned that sleep doesn’t have to follow a schedule. It’s okay to rest when my body demands it, to let go of the world’s expectations. Sleep is my reset button, my sanctuary, where I recharge for the battles and joys ahead.
Exercise: Moving Through Life
My routine is simple but grounding: walks to clear my mind, push-ups to feel strong. My feet are sore from all the miles I’ve logged, but every blister is a story, every step a victory. I’m craving a pedicure to soothe the ache—a small act of self-care to honor the journey.
The Weight of Authenticity
Life hasn’t been easy since August 3, 2019. I was on a flight from Atlanta, fresh off a speech, with Natalie beside me. MGK’s Home played in my ears, and tears streamed down my face. I was living the “dream,” but it felt hollow. I didn’t feel home. Months later, I walked away from it all—torched the life I’d built to stay true to my core. It was the hardest, most liberating choice I’ve ever made. Since then, I’ve loved fiercely and lost deeply. I’ve dated, made mistakes, and poured everything into an NFT company in 2022 that went bust. I’ve gone bankrupt, but I’ve also invested in myself. I’ve stayed authentic, answering to no one but me. That’s the joy of being the creator of your destiny—you own the wins and the losses. No one else gets to take credit or blame.
The Loneliness and the Search
I’ll never forget the loneliness of that flight, sitting next to the woman I thought I’d build a family with. It’s a sadness that lingers, a moment I’ve chased in fleeting connections with Aleyda and Stephanie. Those glimpses of home keep me searching, keep me moving. Right now, I’m craving something simple—a kiss, a moment of intimacy. It’s been 11 months since Mexico, a winter of celibacy, and I’m okay with that. The champagne room and Canada didn’t change who I am.
The Road Ahead
The big question looms: do I take this next trip alone, or with someone by my side? Isabella’s talking about passports, and the idea of marriage for that purpose feels like a plot twist I’m not sure I’m ready for. Europe calls to me—its history, its energy. Or maybe the Middle East, where the people have always welcomed me with warmth. Wherever I go, I want to build something real, something lasting.
The Joys of Being Me
My feet ache, my heart yearns, but I’m still here, still fighting, still creating. The blisters on my soles are proof of the miles I’ve walked, the life I’ve lived. The joys of my sleep, my dreams, my authenticity—they’re all part of this messy, beautiful journey. I’ve got the skills, the gold, and the courage to keep going. And that’s more than enough.
Here’s to the next mile, the next kiss, the next moment of feeling home.
Connect... Gordon GordonBufton@Proton.me @GordonBufton