Navigating the Messy, Beautiful Road to What's Next
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Navigating the Messy, Beautiful Road to What's Next
The desire to escape to a foreign land, to build a family far away from the parts of Canada that no longer resonate with me. To create community, to lean into the vast possibilities of what it truly means to be human, stripping away the limiting beliefs we so often place upon ourselves.
So, what do I actually want? It boils down to this: Family. Health. Purpose. Laughter. Moola. And freedom. Is that too much to ask? Absolutely not. The life of our dreams isn't some distant fantasy. It's much closer than we allow ourselves to believe. I know this deep in my bones, having come a long way from the confines of a Mexican jail cell. I still have a long way to go, that's for sure. But the key is this: we're taking daily action again. Just a few steps, every single day. It won't happen overnight – real growth rarely does – but consistent progress is the only way forward. It's about learning to love ourselves more today than we did yesterday. It's about being willing to lean into discomfort and create a new way of being, embracing all aspects of who we are and who we are becoming.
It's about savoring the process, loving the people in our lives, being willing to play, and finding joy in the way the world unfolds around us, even when it's not what we expected.
Life is meant to be lived. Tomorrow is never promised. Seeing that recent photo of Lyle, looking so genuinely happy, was a stark reminder. It makes me want to fly back, attend his celebration of life, hug Kels (who is pregnant!), and see my mom. But getting a hold of Jeff to navigate the complexities of my US ban feels like a hurdle. Even if I could, would the US actually revoke my suspension? It's a question mark. While I believe the ban's origins might involve some murky conspiracy related to old hard drives or something else entirely, what I do know is that not being able to enter the US doesn't stop me from making a significant impact elsewhere.
In fact, this situation is a catalyst. How can I build a life and create in such a way that I eventually get invited back? The ban itself stemmed from financial issues. But let's be clear: I made the conscious decision in 2021 to give up my green card. I didn't want to live in the USA anymore, and I stand by that decision. My current challenge is figuring out where to live next, because Canada, for all its potential, isn't currently where I thrive. The weather is a grind. I find the people can be closed-minded. The control and taxes feel insane. It used to feel different. Now, it feels like a cautionary tale of what happens when certain ideologies take hold unchallenged.
So, back to basics. What do I want? Love, support, a place to call my own, and maybe a new Mac, honestly. I'm a simple man, truly. I crave connection, meaning, movement, and laughter. Sex, too – lots of sex, because that's a fundamental part of connection for me. Getting back to the gym and reconnecting with those friendships feels important today. Although, I just got invited to dinner... decisions, decisions. Will I hit the sauna or break bread? Depends on how these words flow.
What is the point of life? To experience. To potentially procreate. To leave the world a little better than we found it. To do good by creating a better space for others. To help those who are struggling. To share our own struggles openly, knowing it might just be the lifeline someone else needs. This brings me immense joy – the possibility that a few shared moments, a few honest words, can change the direction of someone's life. It's about being willing to feel it all and create from that place. To love the process, to love others, to be present in every moment, loving all aspects of this wild ride.
This truth hits me hard: we are never going to be this young again. Ten years from now, we'd likely give anything to be this age, right here, right now. So, the call is to create and live from a place of abundance today, not waiting for some mythical tomorrow. To take actions now that build the future we desire.
Chris asked yesterday how I plan to monetize this blog. It's a valid question, and it's on my mind. But it's not the driving force behind showing up and writing every single day. I know that if I commit to this, every day, for a decade, opportunities I can't even fathom will emerge. I know that putting in the consistent work today is the only way to build a future better than I could currently imagine. It's a long game. It's about consistency. Keep creating. Keep showing up. Trust the process. Be willing to be all in on yourself and your future.
What will I do this month to make money? I'm not entirely sure yet. Will I pay my court restitution? Will I finally get a new passport? These are the practical questions staring at me today, the ones I need to figure out.
I'm ready to move beyond the confines of this country, ready to do things differently. Ready to love and accept all aspects of myself, the messy parts, the dreaming parts, the parts that just blurt out provocative texts.
Into infinity and beyond. Boom baby boom.
Connect... Gordon GordonBufton@proton.me @GordonBufton33